The year 2024 is upon us. The year in which I overcame my greatest fear and my dream came true. Okay one of many then, because always dream big right! Exactly one year ago I already wrote 2 guest blogs for Working Remotely, about my struggle with homesickness and moving to Barcelona. Now exactly a year later I am writing another one. Still from sunny Barcelona! But also still about the stuggle with homesickness.
The eternal struggle with homesickness
Homesickness is definitely still there. Did I expect this a year ago? Very honestly, I don’t think so, but still it is. To say that it was all easy and came naturally is an understatement, because there have certainly been times when I would have preferred to move back immediately! But did I? No, I haven’t. But as always, no highs without lows and life is not always roses.
Traveling back to Barcelona
When I am in the Netherlands for a while, it is always difficult to go back to Barcelona. Then I spend days in my own head, thinking about everything and I think it’s great in Amsterdam and at home with my parents in Brabant. At these moments I also forget how difficult I sometimes found it in Amsterdam and how happy I can be in Barcelona. Is the solution then that I don’t go to Holland anymore? I don’t think so, because quite honestly, that would certainly not make me happy either. Should I try to take it one step at a time? I think so, because it will never be perfect anywhere and that is completely logical.
Instagram versus reality
On the social channels, my life seems like a fairy tale at the moment. I must say that at many moments it is, because god how nice it is here. But at many moments it is not, I have no idea what I am doing here, I miss home and would prefer to leave. Oh and cry all night, even my roommate knows by now that I can do that like the best of them. Once I thought that maybe I wouldn’t be homesick anymore if I would really be in my place somewhere. That’s not the case, not even here.
The other day my best friend said: homesickness is actually a really beautiful thing, because it means you mega love the people around you and/or a certain place. It’s just that shit this feeling sometimes makes it all hard. And this is exactly what it is. Secretly, that’s why I would hate it if it didn’t bother me. Although it might be allowed in a lesser degree now and then haha.
Overcoming my greatest fear
Then another friend said: that it was actually quite clever what I had done to overcome my greatest fear. I had never looked at it that way until that moment. I often take it for granted and don’t really think about what I have actually achieved. After all, anyone could always do this – in my eyes. Which, of course, is not true at all. Occasionally being pushed to the facts by friends and family is nice, zooming out to see what you have actually done and achieved is nice too. This was one of those moments. And yes, I have very fine friends and family who know exactly what to say.
New friendships through these guest blogs
To go on about these fine friends. When I mentioned my Instagram in the blogs in case people wanted to contact me, I actually assumed that nothing would happen with this, but nothing could be further from the truth. Two girls who recognized my story had the “courage” to send me a message. Which of course I thought was great, because it also meant that I was not alone in struggling with homesickness.
And so a new friendship suddenly emerged. Mar, with a love of Spain, first met me in Seville (the city she fell in love with). After months of chatting online about homesickness and moving to Spain. Other than this trip, we now talk to each other daily and try to plan as many trips as possible in sunny Spain!
Nur had just moved to Barcelona and recognized my story. After that one coffee to meet each other in real life, we still see each other weekly now and can have lovely long chats about the struggles of living abroad. We thankfully don’t call each other fools as a result.
Contact with like-minded people living abroad
That I would be left with two wonderful friends from this I still find very special. Until writing the 2 blogs, I was convinced that I was the only person in this world who suffered from homesickness in this way. That I was different and no one would come close to what I felt. Nothing could be further from the truth. After writing the blogs, I got into conversations with people who also suffer from this and some just as badly as me and in exactly the same form. That was nice, because there are many forms, but talking to someone who experiences the same thing is just a little easier. That is also partly why I wrote this blog, to make sure that others will also feel less alone because of this story.
Because no matter how you look at it, homesickness remains a struggle. That it makes me cry at the airport and I find it extremely difficult to go back to Barcelona. But the fact that I am lucky to have very nice friends and family around me who know this bit makes it just a little bit easier! And until when I stay? I haven’t the faintest idea yet, but that I’ll catch the summer here, that’s for sure 😉
More inspiration on workations and remote working
https://workingremotely.nl/van-kunstenaar-naar-digital-nomad-in-een-camperbusje/ https://workingremotely.nl/wonen-en-werken-op-een-grieks-eiland/ https://workingremotely.nl/van-ambtenaar-met-9-tot-5-baan-naar-een-vrij-leven/
